#Resilience

May 20
5 min

What is Your Purpose?

What brings meaning to your life? I am not asking because I have the right answer. I am asking because I want you to have an answer, an answer that makes sense for you. Making meaning from your life’s experiences is associated with resilience, the capacity to bounce back from life’s hardships. Having a sense of purpose is also correlated with happiness in life, much more than career success or material possessions. (read more here: https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history

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Dec 22, 2021
3 min

What We Learned from Rudolph, Frosty and Charlie Brown

Every year when I was little, I eagerly awaited the TV holiday specials. They ran only once a year, and if you missed them, that was it. There were no DVDs and there was no streaming. You had your one shot to see Rudolph, or it was over. “There’s always Tomorrow” truly did not apply. Like most people my age, I can basically recite these specials from beginning to end. Even today when I watch, I beam a smile pretty much from start to finish. I sing along heartily to each song,

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Sep 22, 2021
4 min

Staying Alive: Lessons from my Brother's Suicide

(Re-released in memory of my brother, and in honor of National Suicide Prevention Month.) Chances are, you never met my brother. There are still some people around who did, friends from high school, friends from college. Even now, 40 years later, friends of Marc’s contact me. “He was the smartest person I ever knew.” “He was my best friend.” “People tell me I’m a genius, but I tell them they should have met Marc Deguire.” I think Marc was destined to become a college professo

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Feb 12, 2021
2 min

It's the Most Loneliest Day of the Year

Note: I wrote this piece two years ago, and reprint it every February. Sending love to all those who feel alone; I have been there too. I used to dread Valentine’s Day, the holiday of the loved and desired. My friend Hannah would dress confidently in her fuzzy red sweater, brown curls bobbing around her oval face and perky figure. She smiled with anticipation. There would be a pink card and teddy bear from her boyfriend. She would get a cookie from her co-worker who eyed her

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Oct 16, 2020
5 min

Staying Alive: Lessons from my Brother's Suicide

Misery passes, if you can hold on long enough. Everything passes, in time. In the meantime, if you need help, get help.

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Oct 7, 2020
4 min

Why the Burned Girl Wears Short Sleeves

“I heard some other girls talking about her. They said, ‘Why does she wear short sleeve shirts when she is scarred like that? I felt bad."

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Jul 24, 2020
5 min

My Sore Throat

Forty-eight hours is a long time to wait if you might possibly have a life-threatening illness. It was also a long time to think.

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Jul 10, 2020
4 min

Flashback Girl Interviews Herself, Again

I think Flashback Girl has great value on how to survive and thrive through horrible times. And right now is a horrible time for all of us.

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Jun 19, 2020
5 min

Hello, Please, and Thank You: Building Resilience Skills (Part 5 of 5)

Resilient people tend to be socially adept, able to handle complex situations, able to make and keep connections with others.

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May 22, 2020
6 min

L is for Love: Building Resilience Skills (Part 4)

I have known many heroes. There was my surgeon, Dr. John Constable, who saved my life when I was little, and provided me with kindness and care. There was my older brother, Marc-Emile Deguire, who diligently parented me. There was even a stranger, whose name I never knew, who gave me flowers when he witnessed me being taunted and bullied in kindergarten. So many people have been so kind. L. is for Love, the fourth element of resilience that I want to highlight. (This is the f

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May 8, 2020
5 min

How are You Coping?: Building Resilience Skills (Part 3)

In week seven of quarantine, how are you managing your time? Are you contemplating new projects around your home? Catching up with old friends? Or are you despairing, listening to the news all day, falling under tidal waves of anxiety? Both reactions are common and understandable, but the first is clearly the one to shoot for. Let’s talk about how. This is the third of a five-part series on building resilience skills, based on the mnemonic G.O.A.L.S. In my laziness, I was hop

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Apr 24, 2020
5 min

O is for Optimism: Building Resilience Skills (Part 2)

When Mister Rogers was a little boy and not yet a Mister, he found current events frightening. According to the news, tragedies were happening everywhere. What was one little boy to do? His mother comforted him, saying, “Look for the helpers.” Her words gently redirected him to focus on the rescuers instead of the perpetrators, on the hope instead of the loss. Indeed, in the midst of every catastrophe, Fred could see people coming to care for those in need. Little Fred Rogers

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Mar 27, 2020
4 min

Five Grounding Tips for a Strange Time

We live in a quarantined area, and have been instructed to stay home as much as possible. I have never been so grateful to live in a four-bedroom house. We have eight rooms, nine if you include the screened-in porch. As a new empty-nester, I had wondered if we had too much house and whether we should downsize. Now, every day I exclaim, “At least we have all these rooms. We can move around. If you get tired of one room, you can sit in another.” It’s come to that. 5 people and

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Mar 15, 2020
4 min

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

One night I was 17, my friends Joe, Peter, and I watched Monty Python’s The Life of Brian. (As with all Monty Python, this is not a film to watch if you are easily offended or if you take your bible quite seriously.) We lay on the floor in front of the T.V, ate popcorn, and giggled ourselves silly. In fact, we heaved with laughter, tears streaming down our faces, clutching at each other and holding our aching bellies. At the climax of the film, Brian, who is decidedly “not th

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Feb 11, 2020
2 min

It's the Most Loneliest Day of the Year

(Reprinted from February 11, 2019) I used to dread Valentine’s Day, the holiday of the loved and desired. My friend Hannah would dress confidently in her fuzzy red sweater, brown curls bobbing around her oval face and perky figure. She smiled with anticipation. There would be a pink card and teddy bear from her boyfriend. She would get a cookie from her co-worker who eyed her longingly, and a late-night breathy phone call from her ex. Hannah’s only concern was what to wear fo

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Jan 17, 2020
5 min

Flashback Girl Feels Encouraged!

The easiest part of writing my memoir turned out to be… writing my memoir. To be clear, it was not actually easy to write. I have no training in creative writing. Also, my memoir required me to write about traumatic events and disappointments. Regularly I sat on the couch, typing into my laptop, tears streaming down my face, with my dog perched beside me looking concerned. No, it was not easy to write Flashback Girl. However, the journey after completing the manuscript has be

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Dec 20, 2019
3 min

What We Learned from Rudolph, Frosty and Charlie Brown

My husband and I recently reviewed the old holiday specials and made a list of what we learned from them. Hilarity ensued.

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Dec 6, 2019
6 min

Why Your Therapist Can't Be Your Friend

Have you ever fantasized about being friends with your therapist? She smiles when you arrive, and she truly likes you. Her eyes shine with empathy, and she laughs at your jokes. Can’t you just be friends, once your therapy is over? No, you can’t. Let me tell you a true (albeit disguised) story about therapeutic boundaries, and why we need them, therapist and client alike. ***** Sally became my client eight years ago, slinking into my office against her will. Her husband was a

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Nov 22, 2019
4 min

Norman Rockwell was a Liar

Are you excited about Thanksgiving? Are you looking forward to getting together with your whole family, because you always have a great time together? If so, this blog piece is not for you. No, I am writing this blog for the people who anticipate disappointing holidays, the people whose families always act crazy, the people who walk away feeling crushed. “I hate Thanksgiving. Grandpa will be drunk by 2:00, and my mother will spend the day crying.” “Thanksgiving has never been

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Nov 8, 2019
5 min

Flashback Girl Feels Sad

It began with exhaustion. I have been on a whirlwind schedule for two years now, treating my clients during the week, writing or speaking on the weekends. I reveled in this fast pace, feeling excited and energized. Recently, though, something shifted inside me. Dark whispers slipped into my head: “What is the point anyway?” “Work hard until you die. That’s all there is for you.” “You don’t matter.” I shook off these thoughts and kept going. Except the gloomy whispers tagged a

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AUTHOR | SPEAKER

Dr. Lise Deguire